A few years ago, I wrote about the growing number of children starting Reception without being fully toilet trained.

At the time, there was a lot of discussion about school readiness, potty training and whether children should be expected to be toilet trained before starting school.

And now, in 2026, I find myself returning to the conversation.

Because this isn't something that has simply disappeared.

The latest figures suggest that more than one in four children starting Reception may still not be toilet trained.

Kindred²'s latest School Readiness Survey found that primary school staff reported 26% of children starting Reception were not toilet trained, while 37% were considered not fully school ready.

The Department for Education does not currently collect national data on the number of children starting school who are not toilet trained, so these figures come from teacher surveys rather than a national government dataset.

And I think that distinction matters.

But so does the bigger question:

Why are we continuing to see so many children starting Reception without this important independence skill?

I've spoken on the BBC about this very topic, and as a former Early Years teacher, psychology graduate and parent coach, I've spent a lot of time thinking about what might sit behind these numbers.

Because I don't think the answer is simply:

"Parents aren't potty training their children anymore."

There is a much bigger story here.

**This isn't a new conversation, but it is still an important one**

The government has now placed even greater emphasis on **school readiness**, with new guidance published in April 2026 highlighting everyday independence skills, including using the toilet, dressing and washing hands, alongside communication, confidence and social skills.
So toilet training before Reception is clearly still part of the wider conversation around helping children transition into school.
But I think we need to have that conversation **without turning it into a conversation about blame**.
Because behind every child who starts Reception in nappies is a family.
And behind every child who is struggling with toileting is a child who may be experiencing something we don't yet understand.
So let's look at some of the possible reasons.

1. We're parenting with less of a village

Many families today are parenting with less of the community support that previous generations may have experienced.

Grandparents may live further away.

Families may be geographically spread out.

Parents may have fewer opportunities to spend time with other families with similarly aged children.

And that means children can have fewer opportunities for natural modelling.

Historically, children may have regularly watched older siblings, cousins and friends use the toilet.

They heard adults talk about wees and poos.

They saw other children managing their clothing, washing their hands and becoming increasingly independent.

Toilet training wasn't necessarily a separate project.

It was simply something children saw happening around them.

Today, some children experience much less of this natural exposure.

And parents can also find themselves parenting in an information bubble, surrounded by online advice but with less opportunity to sit with another parent and say:

"This is what happened for us. Have you tried this?"

2. Fewer children may have experienced group early-years settings

For some families, nursery or pre-school isn't financially accessible.

For others, children simply spend more of their early years at home.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with this, and nursery is not a requirement for toilet training.

But group settings can provide lots of opportunities for children to develop independence.

They see other children using the toilet.

They experience regular routines.

They practise managing clothing.

They wash their hands alongside their peers.

They become familiar with the idea that using the toilet is simply something we all do.

For some children, these repeated experiences can support toilet learning.

3. Modern nappies are incredibly good at what they're designed to do

Modern nappies and pull-ups are brilliant at keeping children dry and comfortable.

But that can also mean less sensory feedback.

For some children, particularly those who already experience sensory or interoceptive differences, it may be harder to notice:

"I've weed."
"I'm wet."
"I need to go."

Leicestershire Partnership NHS Trust highlights that some children may struggle to recognise when they need the toilet or when they are wet or dirty, and that sensory differences can play a role.

This isn't about blaming nappies.

It's about remembering that body awareness is a skill.

And for some children, that skill needs to be explicitly supported.

4. We've rightly moved away from shame and pressure

This is one of the things I absolutely don't want to lose from the conversation.

Children should not be:

shamed for accidents
punished for wetting or soiling
made to feel dirty
frightened into using the toilet
forced onto the toilet
made to feel that their body is doing something wrong

Toilet training should be approached with dignity, compassion and respect. But there can sometimes be an unintended interpretation of this positive shift.

"Don't pressure them" can become: "Don't do anything until they're ready."

And those aren't necessarily the same thing.

5. Child-led can sometimes become child-waiting

Many parents have been told:

"Wait until they're ready."
"They'll tell you when they're ready."
"Don't push them."

And for many children, this approach works beautifully.

But some children don't suddenly announce:

"Mum, I'm ready to start toilet training!"

Some children don't notice when they're wet.
Some don't understand why they should change from a nappy.
Some don't have strong interoceptive awareness.
Some don't communicate their needs in the way we expect.
And some children with additional needs may never show the classic "readiness signs" parents have been waiting for.

Leicestershire Partnership NHS Trust specifically notes that parents may postpone preparation until a child appears ready, while some children may never appear ready in the expected way.

So I think we need to separate two ideas:

Child-led from Child-initiated.

Child-led doesn't have to mean child-initiated.

We can follow our child's pace, respect their feelings and avoid shame while still actively teaching and scaffolding the skills they need.

6. There is a middle ground between forcing and waiting

Toilet training doesn't have to be: "Use the toilet or else."

But it also doesn't have to be: "We'll wait until they magically become interested."

There is a middle ground.

We can:

introduce the toilet gradually
build familiarity
talk about body signals
model toileting
practise individual skills
establish predictable routines
support clothing independence
make the bathroom more sensory-friendly
use visual supports where helpful
respond calmly to accidents
celebrate progress
build confidence gradually

The government-backed Starting Reception guidance now describes toilet training as a process of learning skills, and emphasises that children develop at different rates and may need different levels of support.

7. COVID may still be part of this story

This is something I think we need to talk about more carefully.

The children starting Reception now were toddlers and young children during the pandemic years.

Some experienced:

lockdowns
disrupted nursery attendance
fewer toddler groups
fewer playgroups
less contact with extended family
fewer opportunities to mix with other children
disrupted routines
changes to childcare
reduced access to community activities

And this matters because development doesn't happen in isolation.

Official research into the impact of COVID on early-years settings found that some children were arriving with less confidence, weaker independent self-care skills and difficulties with skills such as toileting and dressing. Providers also reported fewer children being ready for the move into Reception than they would have expected before the pandemic.

Other government research found that some children had fallen behind in independent skills such as toilet training, particularly those who had not yet secured these skills before the pandemic.

**And I think there's an important point here.**
COVID didn't disappear when restrictions ended.

Development is cumulative.
The children who missed experiences at two or three years old didn't suddenly get those experiences back when lockdown ended.
They continued developing, but from a different starting point.
And the effects of disrupted early childhood experiences can take time to work through.
So when we look at children starting Reception today, I think it's reasonable to consider that **some of the developmental disruption experienced during the pandemic may still be part of the picture**.
Not as an excuse. Not as a diagnosis. And certainly not as the explanation for every child's toileting difficulties.
But as one potential contributing factor that shouldn't simply be dismissed because the pandemic itself is "over".

8. We're recognising more children with additional needs

Another important part of this conversation is our growing understanding of neurodiversity and developmental differences.

Some children entering mainstream Reception may have:

sensory processing differences
interoceptive differences
communication differences
difficulties with motor planning
developmental delays
anxiety
attention and distractibility differences
difficulty with transitions
a strong need for predictability
difficulty with flexibility and change

And many may not yet have a formal diagnosis.

A child doesn't need an autism or ADHD diagnosis for these differences to affect toileting.

Leicestershire Partnership NHS Trust identifies sensory differences, communication differences, difficulty with changes in routine, learning disabilities, distractibility and digestive issues as factors that can make toilet learning more difficult for some autistic children.

This is why I always encourage parents and professionals to look beyond:

"Why won't they?" and ask: "What might be making this difficult?"

9. Some families are waiting for answers and support

A child can be struggling with toileting for years before a family understands why.

They may be waiting for:

an assessment
a diagnosis
specialist advice
occupational therapy
paediatric support
SEND support
an EHCP
help understanding sensory needs

Meanwhile, they are still expected to develop independence. This can be incredibly difficult for parents.

And it is another reason why I don't think we should make assumptions about what has or hasn't happened at home.

10. Sometimes toileting isn't actually the problem

Constipation, withholding and painful bowel movements can have a significant impact on toilet training.

A child who has experienced pain when pooing may begin to hold it in because they are frightened it will hurt again.

That can create a cycle of:

pain → fear → withholding → constipation → more pain.

So if your child is struggling with pooing, withholding or soiling, it's important to consider the physical side of the picture too and seek appropriate medical advice where needed.

What does this mean for children starting Reception?

The important thing is that toilet training is a skill, not a measure of a child's worth or a parent's competence.

Yes, becoming independent with toileting is an important part of school readiness. The current government guidance includes using the toilet independently among the everyday skills children should be practising before Reception. But school readiness is much bigger than whether a child can successfully use a toilet.

It includes confidence.
Communication.
Relationships.
Emotional regulation.
Independence.
Curiosity.
And the ability to ask for help.

And children develop these things at different rates.

My top tips for parents if your child isn't toilet trained yet

If your child is approaching Reception and you're feeling worried, here are the things I'd want you to remember.

1. Trust your gut

You know your child. If something doesn't feel quite right, don't dismiss that feeling simply because somebody tells you:

"They'll do it when they're ready."

Equally, don't assume something is wrong simply because another child is further ahead.

Stay curious rather than fearful.

Ask yourself:

"What am I noticing?"
"What does my child find difficult?"
"What might they need more support with?"

2. Talk to other parents

Find parents with children of a similar age.

Talk honestly.
Share what's working.
Ask what they've found difficult.
And perhaps most importantly, remind yourself that you are not the only family navigating this.

Sometimes hearing another parent say: "We're struggling with this too" can remove an enormous amount of shame.

3. Reach out for support if it feels right for you

You don't have to wait until things become a crisis. Speak to your health visitor, GP, nursery or school.

Ask questions.

Seek advice.

And if you feel that you need more personalised support around your child's behaviour, development, nervous system or individual needs, it's okay to reach out for that too.

Getting support isn't admitting you've failed. It's recognising that parenting is not supposed to be something we have to figure out completely alone.

And finally, remember this...

If your child is starting Reception and isn't yet fully toilet trained, take a breath.

You haven't failed.
Your child hasn't failed.
And this isn't a parenting competition.

There may be a very straightforward explanation. There may be several contributing factors. Or there may be an underlying developmental, sensory, emotional or physical need that hasn't yet been identified.

The most helpful question isn't:

"Why haven't they done this yet?"

It's:

"What is getting in the way, and what support does this child need?"

Because when we replace judgement with curiosity, we create space for understanding. And when we understand the child in front of us, we can support them far more effectively.

Toilet training doesn't need to involve shame.

It doesn't need to involve fear.

And it doesn't need to become a battle.

It can be a gradual process of helping a child understand their body, develop new skills and become increasingly independent, with us alongside them.

About Olivia Edwards, The Positive Parent Coach

I'm Olivia Edwards, **The Positive Parent Coach**.
I'm a psychology graduate, former Early Years teacher and trauma-informed parenting coach with more than 18 years' experience supporting children and families.
I've spoken nationally on the **BBC about children's behaviour, parenting and toilet training**, and I'm passionate about helping parents understand the *why* behind what their child is doing rather than simply focusing on changing the behaviour we can see.
I particularly support parents of big-feeling, deeply sensitive and neurodivergent children who often need a different approach from traditional parenting advice.
Because sometimes the behaviour we're trying to change is actually communicating something important.
And our job isn't simply to make it stop.
**It's to understand it.**

If you're worried about your child's toilet training...

You don't have to navigate it alone.

Start by trusting your gut, talking to people who understand and seeking support if that feels right for you.

And remember:

Your child's timeline is not a reflection of your parenting.

You can contact Olivia for support and guidance on parenting related challenges here

Why Are More Children Starting Reception Not Toilet Trained? A 2026 Revisit