Why Are More Children Starting School Not Potty Trained?
In recent years, schools and parents alike have noticed a growing number of children starting reception who are not yet fully potty trained. For many families, this can feel confusing, worrying, or even shame-inducing — especially when potty training is often framed as a simple developmental milestone that children should “just reach” when they’re ready.
The reality is far more nuanced.
There are clear, understandable reasons why this trend is emerging, and importantly, it is not a reflection of parental failure. Instead, it sits at the intersection of early childhood development, societal change, and the unique circumstances faced by families over the last few years.
Let’s explore what’s really going on.
The Impact of Lockdown on Early Childhood Development
Many of the children who have recently started school* were either born during the COVID-19 lockdowns or spent their earliest formative years within them. This period had a profound impact on families — particularly those with babies and toddlers.
*most of the school readiness data used as a comparison is taken from children starting school in years 2024 and 2025
During lockdown, parents experienced:
Reduced access to health visitors, nurseries, and early years professionals
Fewer opportunities for informal support and reassurance
Limited comparison with other children’s development
Increased stress, anxiety, and isolation
For young children, this meant:
Less exposure to modelling behaviours, including toileting routines
Fewer chances for early intervention when challenges arose
Disrupted routines and reduced social learning
Potty training is not something that happens in isolation. It is often supported by seeing other children, structured routines in childcare settings, and gentle encouragement from experienced adults. For many families, these layers of support simply weren’t available.
As a result, toileting difficulties were more likely to be delayed, overlooked, or deprioritised, not because parents didn’t care, but because they were coping with unprecedented circumstances.
Increased Parental Anxiety and Decision Fatigue
Lockdown parenting was accompanied by high levels of anxiety. Parents were making decisions in a vacuum, often without trusted professionals to sense-check concerns.
When it comes to potty training, this anxiety can show up as:
Fear of pushing a child too soon
Worry about causing emotional harm
Confusion about mixed messaging online
Without guidance, many parents understandably chose to wait — hoping readiness would emerge on its own.
The Shift Towards Child-Led Parenting
Alongside the impact of lockdown, there has been a broader cultural shift towards child-led and gentle parenting approaches. At its best, this movement has helped parents become more attuned, emotionally responsive, and respectful of children’s needs.
However, child-led parenting is sometimes misinterpreted.
In practice, it can become:
Waiting indefinitely for the child to initiate toileting
Avoiding limits for fear of distress
Believing that adult guidance equals pressure
The reality is that many children need scaffolding — a bridge between where they are and the skill they are learning. Potty training is not just about readiness; it is also a learning process that often requires calm, confident adult leadership.
Why Some Children Need Gentle Adult Leadership
Children differ hugely in temperament and nervous system sensitivity. While some will naturally move towards the toilet with minimal support, others need:
Clear expectations
Repetition and routine
Encouragement when confidence wobbles
Adults who can hold the limit kindly but firmly
When limits are unclear or entirely placed in the child’s hands, some children experience:
Anxiety around getting it “wrong”
Avoidance of bodily sensations
A sense that the task feels too big
This doesn’t mean the child isn’t capable. It means they need co-regulation and guidance to feel safe enough to learn.
Potty Training Is Not Just a Readiness Issue
One of the most persistent myths around potty training is that children will simply do it when they’re ready. While readiness matters, it’s only part of the picture.
Potty training also involves:
Emotional regulation
Interoception (awareness of bodily signals)
Trust in adult guidance
Confidence through repetition
For some children (particularly sensitive or anxious ones) waiting alone is not enough. They benefit from a parent who can gently say, “I’ve got this — I’ll help you.”
This Is Not About Blame
It’s important to be clear:
This increase in children starting school not potty trained is not about parents doing something wrong.
It’s about:
Families raising young children during an extraordinary global event
Reduced access to support and early intervention
Conflicting parenting advice
Children with diverse needs requiring different levels of guidance
With the right understanding and support, these children can absolutely learn this skill — often very quickly.
Supporting Children Moving Forward
What helps most is:
Reframing potty training as a learning process, not a test
Offering calm, confident adult leadership
Letting go of shame (for parents and children)
Seeking support early, without judgement
Children thrive when adults are allowed to lead with warmth, clarity, and reassurance.
