How to Get Kids Ready for School: Calmer Mornings with Strong-Willed and Sensitive Children
Why Getting Kids Ready for School Can Feel Impossible
Mornings can feel like a battlefield for many parents. You wake early, plan ahead, lay out clothes, prepare breakfast, and even create visual routines for your children—yet somehow getting them out the door still feels impossible.
Take Emma’s story. She has two children, a strong-willed 3-year-old and a sensitive 6-year-old. She’s tried everything: prepping clothes the night before, creating visual checklists, and even waking up before her kids to stay ahead of schedule. Despite this, mornings often descend into chaos.
She finds herself shouting from another room: “Quickly get your bag!” “Stop playing with LEGO and brush your teeth!” By the time they’re in the car, she’s grabbed toothbrushes and cereal on the go, feeling frazzled and disconnected. At the school gate, she snaps at her kids, who in turn escalate and resist leaving her side.
If this sounds familiar, keep reading to find out how you can create more collaboration and harmony.
Parents Live on Planet Planning, Kids Live on Planet Present
One of the biggest challenges is that parents operate on “Planet Planning,” thinking several steps ahead and managing multiple tasks at once. Kids, especially younger children and deep feelers, live fully in the moment on “Planet Present.”
When we expect our children to meet us on Planet Planning (getting dressed, eating breakfast, and packing their bags on time) we are asking them to do something developmentally challenging.
Strong-willed or sensitive children, in particular, may resist demands or become overwhelmed. This is why shouting and frustration often happen: the gap between parent expectations and a child’s ability to respond in the moment is too wide.
Building the Bridge Between Plan and Present
The key is to meet your child where they are. In practical terms, this means building the bridge between Planet Planning and Planet Present:
Get in the rocket: Step down into your child’s experience and slow the pace. Notice how they’re feeling and what they’re focused on.
Guide them across the bridge: Instead of expecting them to independently follow a routine, walk alongside them through each step. Use visuals, gentle cues, and small achievable steps.
Reinforce connection, not control: Offer choice where possible (“Do you want your red shoes or blue shoes?”), and keep your voice calm. Children who feel understood respond better to direction.
By doing this, you move from power struggles to collaboration, and your mornings become calmer for both you and your child.
Why Parents Get Triggered
It’s also important to understand why we get so triggered in the morning. Lack of sleep, the pressure of being late, and the stress of multiple tasks activate our fight-or-flight responses. Strong-willed or sensitive children can mirror this intensity, escalating the situation. Recognizing this is the first step to creating a calmer routine.
Strategies for Strong-Willed and Sensitive Children
Some practical tips:
Use visual routines or checklists for each step.
Offer small, achievable choices rather than commands.
Prep clothes, breakfast, and bags the night before, but allow flexibility.
Use connection cues: touch, eye contact, and affirmations before giving instructions.
Work with your child in the moment, not from another room.
These strategies don’t just help with morning routines, they strengthen your relationship, reduce conflict, and teach children to self-regulate.
Learn How to Lead with Confidence
If mornings feel like a constant battle, it’s not your child’s fault, it’s about aligning your parenting approach, understanding your child’s temperament, and creating systems that actually work.
In my Parenting Programme: Lead with Confidence, I show parents exactly how to achieve this for their family. We cover:
Understanding strong-willed and sensitive children
Why parents get triggered and how to manage it
Aligning parenting approaches with your co-parent
Setting effective boundaries that work with, not against, your child
Strengthening your relationship in small, everyday moments
Moving from power struggles to collaboration
If mornings feel like a struggle in your home, this programme gives you practical tools, confidence, and support to transform the start of your day.
Getting kids ready for school doesn’t have to be a nightmare. By understanding your child, meeting them where they are, and using consistent strategies, you can create calmer mornings, reduce conflict, and strengthen your connection. Remember: it’s about building bridges, not expecting your child to leap across on their own.
