When your child only wants YOU (and no one else will do)
Have you ever wondered:
"Why won’t they just let their dad do bedtime? Or granny help with the school run? Why does it always have to be ME?"
Parent preference in children can be one of the most exhausting and frustrating phases — especially when it feels like you’re being “chosen” for everything, while your partner is left out or even rejected.
Recently, I worked with a mum whose little one was deep in a “mummy-only” phase. Bedtime? Mummy. Brushing teeth? Mummy. Holding hands on the way to school? Mummy.
Her partner felt pushed aside, their evenings were tense, and she was running on empty — torn between wanting a break and feeling guilty for even wanting one.
We talked about why this happens — especially for deep-feeling children. Parent preference in children often shows up when a child is craving predictability and control in a world that feels big and overwhelming. Choosing one parent is their way of saying: “This feels safe, this is certain.”
I supported this family with simple, gentle strategies to make the shift:
Creating small moments where the other parent was invited in (on the child’s terms)
Setting predictable “mummy time” and “daddy time” so the child knew what to expect
Using warm scripts to reassure them that both parents were safe, loving, and capable
It didn’t change overnight, but slowly their little one began to relax. The guilt eased. The load felt lighter. The home became calmer.
So if you’re in the thick of this right now — you’re not alone. Parent preference in children is common, and it’s not a sign you’re doing anything wrong. It’s a sign your child is seeking safety — and there are ways to ease it, without anyone feeling rejected or burnt out.
Want more tools like this? Inside my Raising Positive People Membership, you’ll find step-by-step strategies for tricky phases like parent preference — plus workshops, live Q&As, and bite-sized resources to help you feel calm, confident, and connected as a parent.
