Messy Days & Meltdowns: A Real-Life Blog from a Mum in the Chaos
By Hollie – Mum to an 8-year-old autistic daughter & a lively 3-year-old toddler
Let me just say it how it is, life in our house is loud, unpredictable, and completely exhausting. There are moments where the chaos feels like it’s swallowing me whole. I’m a mum, yes. But I’m also a human. A tired, stretched, emotional, utterly devoted human doing her best in a world that never really pauses.
My eldest daughter is autistic. She’s beautifully unique, fiercely sensitive, and sees the world in ways I can’t always fully understand but I try. Every single day, I try. From navigating sensory meltdowns to building routines that help her feel safe, parenting her takes a level of emotional strength I never knew I had. And then there’s my three-year-old equal parts adorable and wild, who climbs everything, wants constant snacks, and can go from giggles to tantrums in record time.
Most mornings feel like a battle between routines, resistance, and rushing around in mismatched socks. Someone always needs something. Someone is usually crying sometimes it’s even me. I often feel pulled in two directions, trying to meet both their needs while forgetting my own in the process.
There are days I sit in the bathroom for five minutes just to breathe.
There are nights I lie in bed replaying everything I think I did “wrong” too much screen time, too much shouting, not enough patience. And in the thick of those moments, perfection feels like a cruel myth. A standard no real parent could ever meet.
And that’s the truth I’ve had to make peace with: perfection isn’t real. The Instagram-worthy houses, the calm gentle voices all the time, the kids playing nicely in coordinated outfits? That’s not real life. Not for me. Not for most of us.
Some days I cry. Some days I cancel plans because I just don’t have it in me. Some days the house looks like a toy shop exploded and I serve cereal for dinner because the thought of cooking makes me want to scream. But I’ve learned not to punish myself for those days anymore. They’re just part of the season I’m in.
And even in the mess, there’s magic. There’s laughter in the middle of chaos. There are cuddles that feel like the world stopped spinning. There are those small wins, a word my daughter finds hard to say, my toddler sharing without prompting, a bedtime that doesn’t end in tears. These moments don’t erase the hard, but they soften it.
What helps me through is remembering that I’m allowed to feel it all. Sadness, tiredness, joy, guilt, pride, they all live here. And that’s okay. I remind myself that I’m doing something incredibly hard, and I’m doing it with love.
Having a positive outlook doesn’t mean pretending everything’s fine when it’s not. It means choosing to see light even when the room feels dark. It’s choosing to believe the bad days will pass. That I can handle what’s next. That I’m enough, even when I feel like a total mess.
So if you’re reading this and nodding along, just know, you're not alone. It's messy. It's chaotic. It's beautiful. It's hard. But we're doing it. One imperfect, love-filled day at a time.
With love, solidarity, and plenty of coffee
Hollie x
